Tag: Weekly Lessons

The Last Weekly Lesson of 2024

The Last Weekly Lesson of 2024. The first one came out in mid 2024 and it was rather different from the lesson you see today.

For study until the end of December 2024

Subject: The Last Weekly Lesson of 2024

Audio: On usual social media platforms

You might not know this but the weekly lesson is a rather new entity on my website and it is still evolving and transforming so that it can serve you better. The first one came out in mid 2024 and it was rather different from the lesson you see today. It was dry, factual and more about study, before I changed it to give it an online storytelling function.

Telling a story in the form of a weekly lesson is exciting and fun. You get to teach and tell a story and students get to  learn a lot about UK life and culture as well as learning new words, idioms and phrases. I designed it particularly for those who are looking to advance more and change. Some of you ask  if I could produce a vocabulary list with meanings or add more bells and whistles. That is a lovely idea but like everyone else I have very severe time constraints which stop me from getting so involved with it. I write it, check it post it and leave it to you to study.  If it serves you then great but if you feel it isn’t, then come and talk to me and I will try to help.

The idea behind the weekly lesson is that it can help you read, write, speak and listen better. So even if you feel that you don’t understand anything, it can still be of value.  Let me explain:

Speaking: The audio is presented on all of my social media channels so you can recite the audio lesson along with me. This process is called shadowing – you don’t need to understand anything, you just need to try to speak like me, to improve your accent. This is the natural way to improve your accent. This is what kids do.

Listening: I don’t actually speak slowly, I just speak clearly ensuring that you catch my words as I speak.

Writing: If you are feeling brave enough, you can try to write as I speak. Bring what you have written to one of our lessons and we can look at it together and Bob’s your Uncle.

Reading: The lesson is published on the main page of my website, teacherjoseph.com and it is also put on my blog as a post, so it is easy for you to find.

About me, well, when it comes to storytelling, I’m an absolute natural, the problem is they can’t really shut me up once I start talking. I’ve been presenting a podcast every day for the last 3 years like clockwork.  I’m up with the lark, reading the news and then posting it for you. I am approaching episode number 1000 and am currently looking at how to make it better.  I am currently reviewing my social media strategy so you will be seeing some changes in the new year. I don’t think two separate broadcasts (one videoclip on YouTube and one podcast on most days) are really serving your higher needs. Also, as much as I love making them, there are other ways I can help you, especially in these days of Artificial Intelligence where machine learning is all the rage.

I think probably one clip or podcast once or twice a week might be enough to bring the weekly lesson to you, along with my usual “outside broadcasts” which I make when I am on the street or in the shops.  For that to happen I will need to ensure the lesson itself is brimming over with better content.  My preference would be to bring about positive thinking and motivation. I can do that with laughter and I know many of you think my content is funny, but there also needs to be some discussion about how to get you motivated and that is something which takes a bit of work, many of you would rather see new words on the page rather than hearing me talk about psychology. So things are changing and I hope you journey with me through this transitional process.

The great thing about this lesson is that I can see its possibilities and that is what we need to focus on without losing the  core value of why the lesson is presented, the reason why it exists: to bring you English in a practical way.

Storytelling is a great way of getting points across but that doesn’t always have to be experiences about me. It can be stories about anyone or anything. Also, to take a news story of the day or another person’s story to study would add greater value and is actually paramount in learning to read how people present information in a different way from me. That’s something else to look out for, content from other people or news stories which we can dissect and digest together. So, there’s plenty of  new content coming your way but it might look a little bit different from what we are doing right now.

Anyway, whatever comes up for you in 2025 I hope its joyful, peaceful and full of happiness and I am looking forward to working with you throughout the year. Happy Christmas and Happy New Year.

977 Weekly Lesson Audio: Christmas Cards

Weekly Lesson: Christmas Cards. For study until 8th of December 2024 Subject : Christmas Cards Audio : On usual social media platforms Christmas Cards One of the strangest things about being British is our selection of cards we have for every occasion.

For study until 8th of December 2024

Subject: Christmas Cards

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Continue reading “977 Weekly Lesson Audio: Christmas Cards”

971 Weekly Lesson Audio: Christmas Songs

Weekly Lesson: Christmas Songs. Firstly let me say that Christmas pop songs have been around longer than I have, some songs are cheerful, some songs are annoying and then there’s Mariah Carey.

For study until 1st of December 2024

Subject: Christmas Songs

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Christmas Songs

After the kerfuffle around Band Aid’s “Do They Know Its Christmas” song,  I wanted to add my tuppence worth to the debate about Christmas music.

Firstly let me say that Christmas pop songs have been around longer than I have, some songs are cheerful, some songs are annoying and then there’s Mariah Carey. Probably the ones I dread most are by her and Michael Buble and the one I actually don’t mind is by Leona Lewis, that one is called “One More Sleep”. Leona seems blissfully unaware that sleep is not countable but that’s ok. I like the song. I really detest Michael Buble – I honestly don’t know why.   If I am asked about my favourite genre for Christmas music I would likely reply the 1960s. I just love to hear the Ronettes singing Frosty the Snowman as well as a whole host of others using the infamous wall of sound which was invented by Phil Spector.  I have heard about Whamageddon – this is a game people play to try and avoid Wham’s Christmas song “Last Christmas”. Many people take it quite seriously.

About “Do they know its Christmas” I mean really, who cares whether the song is politically correct these days, it was written for a different generation and I’m sure many people “couldn’t give a monkeys” (plural is correct) whether it is banned or not.  I’m not sure if you ‘ve heard the debate but this infamous Bob Geldof effort contains the words:

“And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time

The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life

Where nothing ever grows, no rain nor rivers flow

Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?”

On the surface these lyrics look relatively innocent, who could have known back in the 1980s that they would create such a storm. Some sources are saying that the song was always controversial because of its negative views of Africa and others are saying that it’s simply got caught up in the whirlwind of political correctness.  I do agree that the lyrics are probably grossly exaggerated. I mean  things do grow in Africa and there are rivers and probably rain too.  But is it correct to call the song colonialist? Critics are saying that the song has a”white saviour” feel to it and as a product of its day is very condescending. Do we even care enough to think about it? The song raised millions for charity over the years.  So surely that kind of redeems it out of any misuse.

When I was a child, the UK was heavily industrialized. That meant that the local factory needed workers over Christmas so my father and grandfather were not always around on Christmas Day. Boxing Day, the 26th of December was not an official holiday anyway until 1974 so people were not accustomed to relaxing on that day. Money was good.. working over the holiday season so there was an opinion that working on these days was better.  Still there was a great holiday feeling, winding down early to get home to see the kids before bedtime.

I do like the variety that you can find around Christmas now, thanks to social media you can find exactly what floats your boat over Christmas, whether its  a group of kids singing badly, a torch song, a protest or even a tragedy. One feature of the old days was that TV channels used to air “Christmas Specials” to make us smile. Many singing groups in those days had their own TV shows and a Christmas special was something to look forward to each year.  Soap operas on TV also had their own Christmas special, to be shown on TV over the period. It was actually something to rush home for. I never considered that actors were giving up valuable time to make these shows, I just assumed they were there for my entertainment. Isn’t it sad when we grow up and realise the world isn’t just there for our entertainment but the harsh reality is that they need to make money. Even actors need work.

I am often puzzled by people at Christmas time, especially here.  I tried to call a  friend to meet for coffee to be told:

“As it’s Christmas, I will be far too busy to meet until January”. In her words she said “You know how it is, buying presents and all”.

I don’t believe for a second that with one month to go until Christmas, she doesn’t have a spare hour but I think this highlights the depth of loneliness people feel at this time of year. They either try to forget about this time of year by diving right into it head first to block out the pain or else they give that impression in order to mask a much deeper pain.  For others they simply will start with office parties and won’t stop drinking until it’s finished.  I think it is time we Brits were honest with ourselves. Despite the mass marketing, songs and Christmas trees we literally climb the walls with anxiety this time of year and do what we can to deal with it. It is a far cry from happiness. Many people don’t have any social structures in their lives, little cash and screaming children. Then there’s people like myself who are looking over their shoulder wondering “what happened”? We went from rooms full of people with guests dropping in daily to empty spaces where those people used to be. Now we are faced with silence and memories. It’s the sharp contrast that hurts, not the emptiness of the day itself. People have gone, the way we live has changed and as the poet said:

“O for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still”

 I would like to see more British people owning the pain and taking responsibility, we could build  a new society free from issues like this if we got our act together and acted responsibly at this time of year. Since I don’t drink I am able to see with great clarity what happens at this time of year, a lot of pain and sadness in the darkest months of the year.  And in the middle of it Mariah Carey. I think pride stops us from really owning how we feel.

I’ve already been looking for Doris Day and Dean Martin specials on Youtube, even though life was not perfect for my parents, they didn’t have that sense of an empty celebration that we have now, something is terribly wrong with the way things are presented to us these days and these old TV specials remind us of the sense of joy we can have if we look for it. These days though this type of entertainment is considered vintage, old fashioned and irrelevant.

I really admire those people who choose not to celebrate Christmas. At least they are owning how they feel about it. I think the rest of us have quite a bit to go until we can deal with this time of year in an honest way.

Whatever you are doing for Christmas this year, I hope you do it in a mentally healthy way.

964 Weekly Lesson: Thanksgiving

Weekly Lesson: Thanksgiving. For study until 24th of November 2024 Subject : Thanksgiving Audio : On usual social media platforms Thanksgiving British people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but there’s always an American around to invite us.

For study until 24th of November 2024

Subject: Thanksgiving

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Thanksgiving

British people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but there’s always an American around to invite us. When my American neighbours invited me to spend Thanksgiving with them, I was sure there must be some kind of catch. So I desperately tried to think of an excuse:

“Eh, sorry I will be working” I answered quickly.

 “Oh that’s fine, just pop in when you can” he responded.

 “Eh yes ok but what exactly do you do on that day”? I asked…

“We just try to welcome the neighbours to join us so we can eat together…” He went on to say how the whole family get together and sit round the table saying what they are thankful for. 

“Oh, how not British” I murmured, remembering how Americans love positive thinking. The scene kind of resembled an episode of the Simpsons where Homer meets the neighbour Ned Flanders. The thought of sitting around a table and talking about what I’m grateful for sounds more like a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, rather than a good time.

It was one of those moments where I realised just how different British and American culture is. This couple have 13 kids and he is only forty-five years old. The oldest one is “coming home” for Thanksgiving and will be helping to cook. Again how “not British” I thought to myself.  That means at least one child a year – Don’t they have Netflix? Then I remembered, they shun TV completely. So one child being born every year isn’t so strange after all.

“What else will you do”? I asked…. “Surely you will spend a lot of time on skype with your relatives back home?” trying to carve out a plan and reason why it would not be perceived rude if I didn’t attend, in line with my British politeness.

“Oh they will be at Church all day” he replied “so we will catch up with them in the night, we have 6 hours difference anyway.”

“Darn –  is no excuse good enough“? I thought.

“I will start cooking at 12pm, you can come along and help me if you want, my daughter will have most of it done, I will do the meat”. He chuckled.

I have watched enough American movies to know that when American men cook, it is all about showing masculinity, maleness and some kind of egotistical trip about being male. British men usually do that by either having a barbecue with alcohol or going to the pub and getting drunk. For us Brits the camaraderie in drinking is more important than the food. I scratched my head for a moment remembering that this guy is actually tee-total. I don’t drink either so we are more alike than not. I found myself wondering why I found him so annoying then.

“I’ll need to spend a lot of time out hunting next week, to walk off the weight after this celebration”  he snorted.

“Ah Yes” I thought to myself, I remembered why he leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s that  habit Americans have of being outdoors and doing things, like driving  golf carts, shooting animals and fishing. I didn’t even know we had hunting clubs here but of course I could see his collection of guns behind him which were lined up like trophies.

“Aren’t you afraid the kids might find these?” I asked.

“It’s better they get used to them early” he said – “besides the ammunition is kept far away”.

“Anyway, the wife and kids would love to see you on Thanksgiving” he continued.

When people talk about “loving to see me”, I always get a bit suspicious. It’s a sure sign that the opposite is true however with Americans you never know… I think he might actually mean it. They don’t share our British dark cynicism. They honestly think the world is a nice place.

 MaryBeth, the wife appeared,  “13 kids,  its no surprise she looks tired”. I thought to myself.

“Why don’t you join us for Breakfast on Thanksgiving” she uttered. MaryBeth is a common North American name, a shortened version of Mary Elizabeth.

I could see there really was no escape, but breakfast might be a way out of this because they will be up and ready for Church on this auspicious day. So I gave in, breakfast with the neighbours then I’ll spend the rest of the day recovering. The youngest has been practicing playing the American National Anthem – I only know that because it woke me up a few days ago, but of course I would never mention that to them.

“Samuel has been practicing playing the American National Anthem on the Piano” the mother said proudly.  I bit my lip and resisted saying something sarcastic about his practice time.

“You son of a gun” said the father as he ruffled the boy’s hair with his hand.

“We never see Jonathan  these days – he is training to become a minister” they went on  to say proudly. He is the eldest son apparently. No one ever speaks about the middle one, Thomas, I was going to ask about him but it just didn’t feel right.  

I felt kind of sad, we speak the same language, live in the same street but couldn’t be more different.

“Oh, how is……. your…. Cat… dog – pet, toffee?” – MaryBeth asked. Clearly they weren’t in touch with the important things in my life. They smiled…. in a kind of a truculent way which emitted pity.

“My cat…… Ptofi…. He is fine” I answered before making an excuse to leave.

“Oh I made jam today for you and the family” she said, breaking the awkwardness of the moment, handing me a jar of jam. It really felt like an episode of a homespun American drama although no one was getting shot in this rerun.

“Sorry I forgot your wife’s name” she continued.

“Don’t worry, I’ve forgotten all 13 names of your kids as well… by the way, how is Thomas?” I retaliated.  

“eh, well, we don’t really……” they both said at the same time “anyway, enjoy the jam”

“Oh thanks” I replied while backing towards the door. Glancing over my shoulder at the rifles and child in the room as I made a hasty retreat.

“See you on Thanksgiving” – came the voices behind me, it was starting to feel more like Amityville, an American horror movie  than a drama.

I thought to myself “I really wish that UK people had something like Thanksgiving where we could all sit around the table happily” but then I remembered, we do, it’s called Christmas and although we all sit around the table, it’s rarely happy.

My mind went to Thomas, somehow I knew that he will be the elephant in the room this year, if he is actually invited.

958 Weekly Lesson Audio: Remembrance Sunday

Weekly Lesson: Remembrance Sunday. For study until 17th of November 2024 Subject : Remembrance Sunday Audio : On usual social media platforms Remembrance Sunday In the month of November, on the Sunday closest to the 11 th , Remembrance Sunday takes place.

For study until 17th of November 2024

Subject: Remembrance Sunday

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Remembrance Sunday

In the month of November, on the Sunday closest to the 11th, Remembrance Sunday takes place. The day is supposed to commemorate the War Dead across the Commonwealth and British territories but for younger generations it is often perceived as incredibly dull.  Since it is a historic ceremony involving the dead, it has been enshrined in our communities as being very important, reminding us that democracy is not an automatic right, it is something which was fought for at a great price with a loss of life.  Our Leaders gather at War Memorials up and down the country and lay flowers, remembering all those who have died. In these days where we celebrate diversity and peace, ceremonies like this can seem a bit icky.  In fact for most of us the ickiness of the day sits in direct contrast with modern living.

The ceremony represents the face of Britain as it was in 1919 when the first took place on Armistice Day in 1919. Over time it has been expanded to include the Second World War and other conflicts in the World.  Little has changed in the ceremony since 1919, the three faces of the Government  all come together. The Monarchy, the Church and the Military all parade through the streets, looking like a reminder of days gone by.  Despite the Government telling us that Britain is now multicultural and politically correct, the ceremony itself is embarrassingly “white”.

When I was a little boy, in the 1980s, there were still people around who remembered the First World War known as World War One and Remembrance Sunday seemed much more important than it is today. World War One still encroaches on our lives today as well; If you work for a company here, you may be asked on certain days to observe a two minute silence to remember the War Dead on anniversaries of World War One.  If I had a penny for every time I have been asked to respect a two minute silence to remember the war, I would be a very rich man by now.

I stopped commemorating  Remembrance Sunday some years ago, I really dislike the two minute silence part at 11am where we are told we have to “shut up” for two minutes to remember those who died in the Wars. That may have worked some years ago but these days trying to get anyone to focus on something for 2 minutes is not likely to happen.

I find the whole thing rather fake,  I mean billions are spent on having ceremonies remembering the Glorious Dead from the old British Empire, why not just look at stopping war. Would that not be a better idea or forget about the ceremony and give the money to a charity instead? 

Then there’s the Royal commentary about the King and Queen who are of course leading the ceremony in London dressed in black wearing poppies on their jackets. A poppy is a little flower that you can see everyone wearing the week before the ceremony it is a little paper flower which is bright red and sometimes has a bit of green at the back. It is used as a symbol of remembering our War Dead.

Apparently this year our Queen has a chest infection so she cannot attend.  It is a very sombre affair,  my Grandmother used to say our Royals all look like horses with their rather protruding teeth and many people here refer to them as “horsey” – meaning they have horse features. I can imagine them nibbling on the flowers rather than laying them at the cenotaph.

 It’s hard to escape, every news channel in the UK has live coverage from London showing our Royals arriving looking more like they are going to the Oscars rather than the Cenotaph.

“And today the Queen is wearing the pearls gifted to her from the Sultan of Oman… and the king’s coat was last seen worn at his Mother’s funeral…”. It is the epitome of boredom, kitsch and a ceremony which feels wrong in so many ways. It really is just icky.

Last year I forgot about the ceremony and tried to listen to radio on my phone at 11.01am. Getting no sound I immediately uninstalled the app, still heard nothing and blamed my Bluetooth buds. Just before giving up and threatening to reset the whole phone, I heard a trumpet and realised it marked the end of the two minute silence, my equipment was fine and started playing. I rolled my eyes, picked up my cat and went to the other room to watch Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote, solve another murder. It seemed the only way I could escape the boredom of the day.

Earlier this year it got quite exciting, in my local newspaper there was an enquiry from volunteers who look after  a War Cemetery in the Netherlands seeking contact with relatives of people buried there. The name was one of my Mother’s cousins and I was able to pass photos and give a short biography of the man. The Dutch guy who wanted the info was really excited and clearly thought we were going to be best friends forever and share a love for researching  the lives of young men who died tragically.  From my point of view it was interesting to know where Tommy was buried but I never knew him, he died during the war.  I only  knew that it wasn’t exactly a hero’s death, he was stealing chickens from the enemy camp during World War Two and sadly a bomb dropped while he was there.  Maybe I will drop into to the cemetery the next time I am in the Netherlands but there’s more chance of me being in the supermarket buying chicken  rather than remembering Tommy this year. As much as I love family history, I never expected to be the last man standing with photos and biographies. I  am only in my fifties after all, still very young.

Anyway, after this ceremony, my attention will be turning to Christmas cards another eccentrically British tradition and I’ll be looking at my Christmas card list to see who I got a card from last year and who is worthy of a card this year. If I don’t get a card two years in a row  from someone, then the person is removed from my list.

 This may be a far cry from Remembrance Sunday but equally important in my opinion.