1070 – Differences between American and British English. Transcript.

One of the great things about being an English Teacher is you get to meet people from all over the world and you get to try some delicious food from different places but you also get to talk to people in other parts of the English world, other teachers sometimes, neighbours and friends of course, people who live around you. This is a very diverse place, you know the UK has people from all over the world.

Last week, I went out for coffee with my American friend, Mike. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, and I was excited. I put on a nice shirt, smart trousers, and my favourite jumper. I felt good.

When I met him at the café, he looked at me and said, “Hey! I love your pants!”

I stopped in my tracks and stared at him and I said:

“Sorry, what?”

“Your pants,” he repeated, smiling. “They look great!”

I looked down at my legs, then back at him.

“You mean… my trousers, right?”

He laughed. “Yeah, trousers. We call them pants.”

I laughed too, but inside, I was thinking: In the UK, “pants” means underwear. You’ve basically just said I’ve got nice underwear!

emmm yeah……

Later, I asked Mike where the toilet was.

He looked confused. “You mean the restroom?”

“Yeah,” I said. “The toilet. You know, the place people go when they’ve had too much coffee?”

“Oh! Got it. It’s over there.”

Apparently, Americans don’t really use the word “toilet.” They use restroom or bathroom, even when there’s no bath in sight.

After coffee, we walked to his car. He opened the boot to put his bag in.

“Can you pop the trunk?” Im thinking “What? I was getting really tired with all the Americanisms at this point”.

I looked at him. “You mean the boot?”

“No, the trunk.”

We both pointed to the same place… the back of the car. I said “boot,” he said “trunk.” then we both kind of laughed nervously knowing that, you know, the day was far gone, the time was far spent…it was time for us to really go home…..

Then he asked, “Are you hungry?”

“Very,” I said. “I could eat a horse.” I had that headache, you know the kind of headache you get when you spend too long with someone who is not really very interesting. It was kind of like that.

He paused. “Well… let’s just get lunch instead.” we forgot about the boot/car thing. We walked to a small diner. Of course he called it a diner and I call it cafe, cafe bar or restaurant. One of these places which charges you like 60 euros just for a very basic sandwich with a special sauce on there, really absolutely awful. I dont know why I said Euros, we are in the UK of course… it’s pounds.

“I’ll have the pie with chips,” I said, seeing a vegetarian option.

The waiter looked confused. “You mean potato chips?”

I thought “Uh, Cor, not another American”

I said. “Chips. You know, hot, thick fries?”

“Oh! You want fries. Not chips.”

Because of course in American English these things are different. In the UK, chips are what Americans call fries. And what I call crisps, they call chips. So I had ordered a pie with crisps. I mean with British Cuisine anything is possible and it is the kind of thing we would eat and we do eat!

Then the American guy Mike ordered a biscuit. I thought it would be something sweet, like a cookie, you know a biscuit and a cookie for me is the same, but bearing in mind we were in this cafe with this American guy, I suddenly realised that we were actually in some kind of American cafe…. when the food came, it was a soft, warm bread roll. He put butter on it….. and they called it a biscuit.

I said to him….“That’s a biscuit?”

“Yep,” he said. “Southern-style.”

I couldn’t believe it. I mean my jaw dropped… and then of course we went to get the bill and we went to go home and as we drove to go home….. the American suddenly said, “We’re out of gas.”

“Gas? You mean petrol.”

“In America, we say gas.” was his response – I was getting really narky by this point, really upset and I said:

“Yeah but it really is petrol you are putting into this car, its a petrol car – we dont do gas cars here – its a liquid you are using”

“Yeah let’s go to the gas station.” He just wasnt listening to me, I was trying to correct him, I was in Teacher mode basically, that pie and chips, it just wasnt nice you know.

Anyway, while we were at that station, I could hear him asking someone where the trash can was.

And of course the guy that worked in the petrol station..he said “The what?” – He wasnt English either.

You know…“The trash can,” and I put my head out the window and said “he’s looking for the bin”.

“Oh the bin….. its over there.”

All these kinds of things and yeah, you know napkin in American English is serviette and yeah they have very different ways of expressing themselves and they obviously think the whole world is there….. the same as they are. But yeah there are some major differences between American and British English. Those are just a few examples, but it does go much deeper.

Sometimes we even need to change the names of our TV shows just to make sure they are understood in America.. its very interesting.

Anyway thats a little glimpse into British and American culture.

See you,

bye.

1069 Experiences of Learning Dutch Transcript

So, I started learning Dutch while I was actually living in the Netherlands which, in theory, should make everything easier. Total immersion, real-life exposure, supermarkets full of words, right?

Wrong.

Let’s be clear: living in a country and understanding what anyone is saying are not the same thing. My first few weeks there, I smiled a lot. Nodded. Laughed when others laughed, even though I had no clue what was going on. Someone could have told me their hamster had exploded and I would’ve smiled and said “lovely.”

It didn’t take long to realise I had to learn the language or spend the rest of my time ordering the same sandwich from the same café, praying they’d never change the menu.

So, I started. Tentatively. First with the street signs, they felt safe. No one expects you to respond to a street sign. Then the public transport announcements. I picked up the general vibe: something had either gone terribly wrong or would arrive in three minutes. Maybe both.

I downloaded an app, the one with the friendly owl who is always watching. The owl celebrated my 3-day streak like I’d climbed Everest. I felt proud… until I skipped a day and the owl got weirdly passive-aggressive. “We missed you,” it said. “Your language goals did too.” I swear the app knows guilt better than most Catholic school teachers.

In the Netherlands, I started trying out small phrases. Very small. One-word small. I once tried to say “thank you very much” to a lovely cashier but panicked halfway through and ended up making a sound somewhere between a sneeze and a confession. She looked confused, then concerned. I took my groceries and left with the grace of a damp cardboard box.

But here’s the strange thing: despite the stumbles, I kept going. There’s something oddly addictive about learning a language you hear all around you — even if most of it sounds like someone trying to clear their throat and speak at the same time. Dutch isn’t a shy language. It’s assertive. It sounds like it means business. Even when it’s talking about cheese.

Once I left the Netherlands, I thought the urge to learn would fade. But weirdly, it didn’t. Maybe I was traumatised by how many times I’d misunderstood people. Maybe I missed the weirdly satisfying rhythm of the language. Maybe I was still determined to someday understand those fast, breathless train announcements that made me question whether I was on the right planet, let alone the right train.

So I kept going. Now, though, it’s different. I no longer have daily immersion just me, my apps, a few Dutch children’s books, and the occasional YouTube rabbit hole. I read menus for fun. I test myself with grammar I will never use in real life. I once spent an entire evening trying to understand why a verb had snuck to the end of the sentence like a guilty teenager. Still no idea.

And yes, it gets lonely. No more overheard conversations to decode. No bakery lines to rehearse sentences for. Just me, whispering strange phrases at home and hoping my neighbours don’t think I’m starting a cult.

Sometimes I doubt myself. Sometimes I think I’ve made up all the progress. I’ll listen to a video, get excited that I understood a full sentence, and then realise it was in English. Or I’ll try to speak out loud and suddenly develop a completely new accent that doesn’t exist in any languages.

But there are wins. Like realising I know what a sign says without translating. Like understanding the difference between two similar-sounding words and not accidentally saying “I am pregnant” when I meant “I am full.” Like recognising a joke in a Dutch TV show and actually laughing for the right reason.

Also, I’m no longer scared of the long words. You know the ones the kind that stretch across half the page like some kind of linguistic centipede. Once upon a time, I’d look at those and assume they were medical conditions. Now I know they’re just compound words. Long, yes. But logical. Which, if you ask me, is both comforting and horrifying.

And there’s something else. Something no app or phrasebook mentions: the emotional chaos of learning a language that’s so close to English, yet not quite. It feels like dating someone who reminds you of an old flame, familiar, but ultimately unpredictable. One moment, everything makes sense. The next, the sentence flips around and throws in a word that sounds like a sneeze.

But despite everything the confusion, the grammar acrobatics, the owl-induced guilt, I keep going. Because every now and then, I get this flash of clarity. A sentence that makes sense. A word that clicks. A tiny, fleeting moment where I feel like I’m in the language, not just chasing it. And those moments, odd as they are, feel magical.

Will I ever be fluent? Honestly, I don’t know. It depends what “fluent” means. If it means giving a TED talk about philosophy, probably not. If it means ordering a coffee without causing a scene, then I’m nearly there. If it means understanding people well enough to laugh at the right moment — that’s the goal.

Tomorrow, I’ll probably forget something obvious. I’ll probably mix up the word for “because” again. But I’ll also open my notebook, press play on the next audio, and try once more. Not because I have to, but because this is who I am now: someone who once lived in a country, heard a language, and decided, quietly, to try and understand it.

Even if it takes a lifetime.

1068 The Soundtrack of Carbonated Delusion: Coca-Cola Jingles in the 1980s  – Transcript

The 1980s gave us many things: shoulder pads, mullets, cassette tapes, nuclear panic, and an unshakable belief that soft drinks could somehow save the world. Among the noisiest contributions to this surreal decade were the Coca-Cola jingles – bright, sugary musical anthems that promised joy, unity, and refreshment, all for the price of a bottle cap.

If the Cold War was the sound of tension, Coca-Cola was the soundtrack of forced optimism.

Coca-Cola’s jingles in the 1980s weren’t just catchy, they were an all-out assault on the senses. With lyrics that made sunshine sound compulsory and melodies designed to burrow into your skull like a corporate parasite, these jingles were everywhere: on radios, televisions, and the lips of disturbingly enthusiastic teenagers in advertising spots.

Take, for example, the endlessly repeated “Can’t Beat the Feeling!” campaign. This jingle, released in 1989, featured crowds of people smiling far too widely, often mid-laugh, as they sipped their Coke in slow motion. The music swelled, the camera panned over golden beaches or neon-lit cities, and somewhere, a child ran through a sprinkler. The message was clear: Coca-Cola was not a drink. It was a lifestyle.

A lifestyle where no one ever had a headache. Or rent. Or the slightest trace of cynicism.

This was not new, of course. Coca-Cola had been linking itself to happiness since the 1971 classic “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke,” a song so idealistic it made peace in the Middle East look like a reasonable weekend goal. But in the 1980s, the jingles got louder, more polished, and somehow more desperate.

Everything about them said: “Look! Everything’s fine! Don’t think too hard!”

The irony, of course, was that much of the world in the 1980s was not fine. There was recession, unemployment, nuclear threats, and the growing fear that Ronald Reagan might accidentally press the wrong button before his next nap. Meanwhile, Coke’s ad campaigns danced forward, blissfully unaware or perhaps entirely aware of how false their promises sounded.

This made the jingles all the more surreal. In the middle of your family’s second-hand car breaking down, the radio would blast, “Can’t beat the real thing!” as if it were gently mocking your life.

They sang about sharing Coke with friends while half the country wasn’t speaking to each other. They sang about energy and joy while millions felt tired and broke.

And yet, the jingles worked. That’s the dark genius of it all. People bought the drinks. People sang along. For a few seconds, humming the tune in a supermarket aisle, you did feel a little better. Coca-Cola wasn’t selling sugar and water. It was selling escape.

Even now, those old jingles haunt us. Not just as melodies, but as memories of a kind of mass hypnosis. A time when we all agreed, without saying it, that pretending everything was wonderful was better than facing how complicated it really was.

There’s a special kind of horror in watching an old 1980s Coke ad today. The hair is big. The smiles are bigger. Everyone is dancing in a way that suggests they’ve either found salvation or been recently electrocuted. You know it’s fake. They knew it was fake. But we all played along.

And let’s not forget the children. In many of these jingles, kids sang too—voices so clear and hopeful it made you feel guilty for ever doubting anything. Their eyes sparkled with the kind of trust you only see in people who haven’t read the news yet.

What were we teaching them? That joy came in a can? That unity could be achieved through matching T-shirts and high kicks?

Perhaps the darkest joke of all is that the Coca-Cola jingles were right, in their own strange way. They did bring people together. They united us in pretending that the world was simple, that problems could be solved with bubbles and branding.

It wasn’t true, of course. But it was catchy.

And maybe, in the end, that’s all a jingle needs to be.

1067 – The new UK Law on Immigration (with transcript)

Hi, everyone. Welcome again to another teacher Joseph podcast.

Well, yesterday the British Government announced that it is changing our immigration rule. And there’s a few very strong rules coming in which will prevent immigrants entering the UK.

It’s very sad. My feeling is this is in response, of course, to American politics. As I’ve often said here on this podcast, our system, our government tends to mirror whatever’s happening in America, and it’s clear that what’s happening over there was somehow or other going to affect our British way of life.

That as well as the fact that we… we actually have other discussions on immigration happening here separately. I mean the bottom line is that they they want to cut down the number of immigrants. I don’t know anyone who actually agrees with that. I grew up in a time when we happily accepted people from around the world, especially from the EU, because we were in the EU and now of course, it’s looking like getting into other countries is easier than getting into Britain.

One of the main things that I’ve noticed is that we no longer want care workers. That was a big thing yesterday, so if you were using the care system and I’m not talking about nurses. I’m talking about people who work in our care and nursing homes. That was how many people got into the UK that’s now being stopped temporarily. I think they’re saying they’re pausing the entry of care workers and we have loads of those and I think around where I’m living. I can see that they tend to be African, so that will be stopped and the idea is that British people will be doing those jobs. I don’t know who thinks that British people will be doing this because, as far as I can see, younger people than me anyway, they they don’t want to be working…. likewise, I mean this this will also reduce the number of people working in my local supermarkets by about half. So who’s going to do those jobs, I wonder? It’s really very sad to see these changes. Because I’m not sure that the government realise how important immigrants are. Around different parts of the UK, our local garages and supermarkets are operated and in some cases owned by immigrants, so I don’t know what’s what’s going to happen, but it’s very sad. The whole thing is very, very weird. And as the opponents to this new law have said. Well, it’s just a matter of time before the government realise that it doesn’t work because we need people who want to do the jobs that British people don’t want to do. That’s quite simple. Yeah. So let me read this.

Extended path to settlements.

You have to wait 10 years before you can be considered for permanent residency.

Higher English language requirements

The government has raised the proficiency level up to B2, so you can no longer get in on a B1 exam pass. You need B2 now.

Skilled worker visas.

Yeah, this is changing. So they’re basically saying that to come to the UK now you need to have a university degree. OK. So any kind of skilled worker visa, you need a degree.

Restrictions on care worker recruitment.

I mentioned that… they’re pausing that. If you’re here at the moment, you can stay until 2028. Overseas applicants no longer accepted.

Students

International students have two years now to work after they graduate, rather than. UM. Oh, previously it was 2 years now it’s been reduced to 18 months is what I want to say.

Stricter deportation policies.

The new policy allows for the removal of individuals convicted of minor offences. Well, that’s mirroring America, of course.

And and just to conclude on that. It’s yeah that this is quite profound. You know quite a profound change to our immigration law. And it’s going to be a big shake up because it means (there’s) going to be virtually no one to look after our older people in nursing homes. So yeah, something has to change there. And of course it will. It’s only a matter of time before our governments reverse some of these points.

Other governments have tried it and failed. Uh, it’s just not workable. Yes. So the B1 to B2 is interesting, isn’t it? That you have to have a B2 pass level to enter the UK now?

I mean, British people have always been a little bit strange with immigration. My age group was better in that we were in the EU. We welcomed everyone, things weren’t perfect, but it worked. I don’t see anything wrong with that, but now there’s parts of the UK which are completely impoverished. And crime levels are high and if these crime levels are contributed to by people of other nationalities, it raises bad feeling. There’s been a few of those over the last number of years, but yeah, I think British people have always been a little bit strange with immigration. Anyway, it’s not something that’s that we handle very well, but exclusion is never the way to go.

I’m very sad about this. I love immigrants, I love diversity. And yeah, it makes me a little bit worried about living here. Because I… even though I am British, I don’t think of myself as British, my views of Britain and the British people are probably the same as those shared by immigrants. So when they pass laws like this, it makes me really uncomfortable because it’s like they’re attacking my friends. And I’m sure one of these days it’s going to go much deeper.

So I really really hope that they reverse this quite quick. It’s…. we don’t want to end up like other countries where you round up the immigrants and you deport them, which is currently I think what’s happening in in the USA, this is… this is dreadful. So it’s it’s really sad that Britain could even think about going in that kind of direction.

Having said all of that, though, I don’t think these laws will get through Parliament. I mean, they’ve been announced, they still have to be debated. I think in our upper chamber. So probably they they might be reduced a little bit. It’s before they become law and like I say, they they can’t last long because anything which excludes anything which deports, well, I’m sure that’s not going to last long, right…well, that’s it for me.

That’s a little introduction in to the new immigration system here in the UK. Very sad day, I have to say, but like I say, it can’t last long because British people well we really just don’t want to do the kind of work that immigrants do, so who knows what the future is going to look like without them, right.

See you all. Bye.

 

 

1066 Walking on the High Street Transcript.

Hi everyone and welcome again to another teacher Joseph podcast.

Well, I’m outside today and I want to describe for you what I’m looking at. So I’m on the High street. Some people might say in the High street of my town here in the UK.

It’s a glorious day, it’s very nice. The sun is shining and behind me, if I turn around, there’s a town hall and the clock is pointing up into the sky. Very nice indeed. And directly ahead of me is a rather empty Street no one’s really on there, possibly because there aren’t so many shops which are open and well, there aren’t so many shops these days, because everyone buys things online. Some of our town centres are just a little bit dead and my town centre, I’m afraid to say is the same. Looking at it now, there’s nobody on there except a few young people who are clearly going to the pub, I think, or maybe one of the cafes, which are still open but generally not a lot to see.

So let me just describe that for you. There’s one cafe that I can see on the right hand side. With a purple sign outside, the pavement is cobblestone. That’s the little squares. You know that horses are accustomed to walking on….there’s a couple of people who are wandering around, but not too many. Lots of very bored looking teenagers as well who are moving around.

Of course there is one shop here which is always very popular and is always open, and that’s the Poundstretcher. Now, as you might know, we have a lot of discount stores here. And certainly the Poundstretcher is one of them. Why is it called stretcher? Because the verb to stretch means to elongate something which lasts longer. So Poundstretcher, that’s giving the idea that you can stretch your money more in a shop like that. And it’s probably true. You really can. I’m now on the High Street walking up and yeah, lots of empty shops here as well. A couple of banks but nothing that’s really noticeable. Nothing that’s really very open. Here is a sign “We’re moving. This store is now closed” and another one. “Please note this store is closed”, so yeah, quite a few of them boarded up. One here, with gates outside, permanently locked. No sign. Don’t know what that is. So, yeah, you’re kind of getting the idea here, and that is that not a lot happening as I walk further up the street, I can see the library on the right hand side. And the government decided to place the library here, right in the middle of the High Street, to try to revitalise it but not a lot happening there either, as at the moment at least, it’s closed.

Another shop lying very empty with a young man sleeping in the doorway, reminding me again that all is not well. Let’s see. Yeah. OK, here’s a shopping centre. It’s open. But looking inside as I walk past. Unfortunately, there’s not too much to see there. Many of the shops inside were closed down. More so, since there’s been rent increases because of the rise in costs for everything. In talking to you, I’m now almost at the top of the High Street. There’s a new gym opened. “Beauty and the Beast”. Hmm. Personal Training, Boot Camp, Boxing club…. ohh dear not for me at all. Just looking in the window there…. very nice. And also there’s a nail bar where you can go to get your nails done. Uh, what’s this? Ohh, Vietnamese restaurant, closed. Don’t know why. Usually that’s open. And there’s also a Burger bar, which is open. Barber closed, hair salon closed, dental clinic closed. Wow. We’re not doing too well are we….? fortunately, these shops haven’t closed down. They just seem to be closed right now. Don’t know why. Very interesting, yes. A mini market selling milk, Coca-Cola, these kind of things. It’s open.

I’m now at the top of the High Street, cars whizzing past buses, also reminding me that there’s still life here which is very nice. Again, the noodle bar closed. Actually, that noodle bar used to be delicious….. YMCA, which is a young man’s club. You might know it. I’m sure the YMCA…well its a very famous song of course, by the Village People. YMCA… But it’s also a a very old place here, where a young man can go to play snooker to meet friends. But yeah, this one’s closed. unfortunately.

So more places closed down. And that’s it. Looking further up the High Street. Lots of traffic, more people, but no shops. So if you were thinking that all High Street shops here in the UK are the same as London, you would be wrong. In fact, the farther North you go, the more impoverished they get, which is quite sad. So just keep that in mind if you’re…if you’re coming here. So I’m just turning around, about to walk back down and it’s not as grim as it seems. It’s a lovely day, and I’m sure either later or tomorrow some of these shops are going to be reopening with their services….

Well, that’s it for me. For the moment. I hope you’ve enjoyed this. Let’s talk soon. See you.

Bye.

1064 – Happy New Pope Transcript

Hi, everyone. Welcome again to another teacher Joseph podcast.

Well, we have a new Pope and you’d think after 266 tries (at least) we’d have perfected the art of picking someone. So that it doesn’t feel like a rerun TV show.

…but no, they pushed him out onto the balcony like a contestant in a reality show. The crowd of course, cheered. Somebody fainted, I think, a nun in the front row. And yeah, it was quite a day. Well, I was watching it on the Vatican live screen, the BBC News headlines were on the screen in front of me as well. …and yeah, I was talking to a student at the time.

Um, yeah. They always talk about this white smoke like it’s some kind of grand mystery. But yeah, I mean, it’s just people in the background burning the ballot slips, isn’t it? Well, of course the new Pope gave the usual speech. Humble, hopeful, big on unity, short on specific things that he’s going to do. I preferred the old pope. With his speeches, remember, every time he appeared on the balcony.

Be not afraid. Be not afraid.

That’s all he ever said when they they pushed him out, wasn’t it? On the balcony?

The future is in your hands. Be not afraid.

He repeated that with a lot of passion, didn’t he? Well, yeah, this one gave the usual speech. Peace to everyone and love and everything. Yeah, mercy mission. Something about climate. I’m not sure exactly what he said. I didn’t watch all of it. They’re saying that he’s the man of the people. I don’t know quite what that means. The Guardian newspaper’s calling him transformative, which makes him sound like medication or plastic surgery. Yeah. And of course, Twitter. Well, X. They’ve already started some…. well… half of them think he’s the second coming of Christ, and the other half think he’s some kind of infiltrator from dark forces. I don’t know where these conspiracy theories come from. I mean, he’s a Pope. I I’m not sure I even care enough to form a conspiracy theory. Yeah, I’m just here sipping tea and waiting to see if he makes it past the honeymoon period without re-banning the guitar at mass. Do you remember? You know, when I was growing up going to mass was very much a very Latin affair. My goodness me. You could get thrown out for smiling and then somewhere along the way in the 1970s. Going to mass was like going to a folk music concert. Everything suddenly sounded like a song by Peter Paul and Mary, by the way. If you don’t know who Peter, Paul and Mary are, you need to listen to them. It’s a kind of a… just a nice trio. Singing very nice songs about life with the guitar, yeah.

Yeah, one of my friends rang me to say that they think the new Pope looks like a kind of man who, who’s going to introduce sweeping reforms. Yeah, but he’ll probably then just, you know, delegate these reforms to a committee who meet once every 10 years. I don’t know if they, if they’re able to make big reforms, I think there’s so many differing views now than there used to be. I’m. I mean, I’m not against the papacy. I think it’s probably a good idea. It’s just that…this idea that each new pope is going to fix something, you know, like a plumber fixes the water tank. I mean, it’s been 2000 years. So I don’t know, maybe it’s it’s time for them to look at things differently. But anyway, they started this, this kind of idea of change, isn’t it, to make them fit in with everybody else. So …many people don’t like that, I think. And but of course, there’s always that voice. It says, oh, well, this will be the last Pope. Honestly, everyone keeps telling me this. I’m not sure.,,,obviously somebody has some direct link with God.

Yes, this Pope is the last one.

Well, nice. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. So of course, everyone’s saying, well, maybe things will be different. But I thought the last one did a good job. You know, he seemed to, you know, like, stand on the tarmac at airports, kiss it, and then say things like. Be not afraid, just like the last one did. John Paul the second. So yeah, they seem to enjoy making these statements. There’s always the robes, the Latin, the bells ringing in the backgrounds. I love the drama. You know, wearing these long flowing purple robes.

Yeah, it’ll be interesting to see what happens, though. I mean, the first few months, of course, they’re all……. the first few months, everyone will love him. They will all love him, is what I want to say. And then, of course, the cracks will show. Then the encyclicals will come just like, you know, Donald Trump’s Executive orders. And then everyone’s going to be unhappy, and I suppose I’ll be sitting in the church wondering if they’ll ever fix the heating. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe he’ll surprise us. And he’ll excommunicate a few people.

Nice face. Not big on smiling. I think… you know, he was kind of pulling his mouth apart like the Royals do…. you know they,,, they smile in a way that makes them all look like Dracula. But yeah. Yeah. Well, let’s see what happens. I mean, he can’t do that much damage, can he? He’s only in the first day of the job, so. I don’t know. He he’s not a world power, so to speak, with economies. But he has a lot of moral power. So I don’t know what that means exactly, but we’ll have to wait and see. So…. Yeah, let’s see how long it lasts and what changes he’s able to make. And yeah, be not afraid, that’s still my favourite ….Pope John Paul the second he started that, didn’t he? The future is in your hands, making him sound like some kind of really bad version of Dracula, but nice phrase, though he did make us feel better. Or maybe it’s just because I was younger and less cynical. I don’t know.

But anyway, enjoy the new Pope.

See you all.

Bye.

 

 

1063 Diary Entry – Goodbye Skype Transcript

So, it’s official: Skype is shutting down.

I stared at the announcement for a few seconds longer than necessary, then exhaled — that kind of slow, quiet sigh you make when something ends that you didn’t realise you still cared about.

For most people, it’s probably no big deal. They’ve moved on to Zoom or Teams or whatever platform makes sense now. But for me — for those of us who started teaching English online before it was trendy, before the world locked down and “virtual” became normal — Skype wasn’t just software. It was a classroom. It was a lifeline. It was my job, my tiny digital schoolhouse, open to the world.

I taught my first Skype lesson in 2012. A teenager in Turkey, nervous and excited, who called me “teacher” with such reverence I didn’t know where to look. My first webcam lesson. My first shared screen. My first time realising: this works. This really works.

What followed were thousands of hours of teaching — sometimes in pyjamas, often with tea, occasionally with a cat walking across the keyboard. I taught kids in Moscow and doctors in Seoul, Korea. I had early mornings with Brazil and late nights with Japan. Skype turned my living room into a little United Nations of hope and grammar and laughter.

Skype was glitchy. The audio would cut out mid-sentence. Students would freeze with their mouths open and eyes closed. We’d spend ten minutes just trying to hear each other. But somehow, that made it more human. Less polished. More real.

I remember one adult learner from Syria who practised his job interview with me every week. I remember the quiet teenager from Spain who barely spoke for three months, then suddenly recited a poem. I remember a student in Ukraine during a blackout, sitting in near darkness, reading from a worksheet lit only by candlelight. All of it over Skype while she worried about her pet tortoise.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was personal.

In the early days, there were no fancy scheduling apps or built-in whiteboards. I used Word docs, email attachments, the “share screen” button like it was magic. We worked with what we had. And what we had… was enough.

Skype made language learning intimate. One-on-one, face-to-face, across oceans and time zones. Sometimes I’d be the first English speaker someone ever had a full conversation with. Sometimes we didn’t even finish the lesson — we’d just talk, about life, about dreams, about homesickness or hopes or how to pronounce “though.”

And now, it’s ending.

I opened it one last time this morning. The icon still sitting there on my desktop like a relic. Same soft blue. My old status still set to “Available.” My contact list — dozens of names, now silent. I scrolled through old chats. Homework links. Encouraging words. The occasional “Thank you, teacher. I passed.”

It’s strange, mourning a piece of software. But I think what I’m really mourning is the era it represents. The beginning. When this whole online teaching thing was new and exciting and fragile. When Skype was the bridge between strangers who wanted to learn and teachers who wanted to help.

I still teach, of course. On other platforms, with better tools and smoother tech. But nothing else has felt quite like Skype did. It was imperfect, yes. But it let me teach from anywhere, and let my students learn from anywhere, and that — that still feels like magic.

So here’s to Skype.

You brought the world into my home.
You introduced me to hundreds of people I never would have met.
You helped me grow into the teacher I am now.

Thank you.
You did good.

1062 The History of LBC Radio (podcast transcript)

Hi, everyone. Welcome again to another Teacher Joseph podcast….

…and today, we’re going to look at the history of LBC radio, now LBC… I’m always telling you all that you should listen to LBC because it’s a natural flowing radio station.

It’s a call-in 24 hour service where anyone can call them and discuss anything that they want. So Leading Britain’s Conversation is LBC radio. It wasn’t always like that. When I was a boy listening to LBC, it was the London Broadcasting Company and it wasn’t even national. It was just a London radio station. It’s very influential and and it’s kind of evolved into a national platform for people to have their views but of course, you know the kinds of people who call radio stations during the night are always a little bit strange. So some of the opinions that come up aren’t always reflecting how the people feel but its history reflects the changing landscape of British radio, shifting away from the very posh, uptight BBC “Hello” into something much more usable and practical because up until 1990, in any radio station in the UK you had to have the Queen’s English, whereas now anybody can produce a programme on radio if they are employed to do so. It doesn’t matter what they sound like, as long as they sound fairly clear. LBC was launched on October the 8th, 1973. Apparently it was the first legal commercial radio station in the UK. Well, I’m not sure about that because I know Radio Clyde here in Scotland was also launched around that time. I’d have to check to see which one was actually first. Yeah, in those days we had AM and FM.. and to be honest with you, I think I might be buying a radio after the power failure in Spain last week. I want to make sure I have one just in case …

I remember it’s early presenters Douglas Cameron, Bob Holness. Oh, they had very, very Polish accents. Yes. “Hello yes. LBC here”. Yes, very unlike today and it also pioneered the use of rolling news because it set up some kind of news service that other radio stations could use. They… they kind of like all joined LBC on the hour for the news through a service which was called the Independent Radio News network. Very interesting. However, with LBC, its journey with radio wasn’t always smooth. There was a time when it had financial difficulties and it was sold off to different companies and was split up but eventually I think it reformed and regrouped back into one station… very interesting though, if you like radio as I do, it’s fascinating thing.

…and then in 1996, it actually lost its licence, because here you have to bid money to operate a radio station…if you want to be on air in our AM and FM spectrum and they lost their licence and I don’t know exactly how they got it back. I know it was rebranded as News Direct and then (in)2003 I think it came back again, but it had been bought over again by that point by Chrysalis Radio and they decided to make it just 24 hour call-in.

Then it was bought by Global Media, which its owned by today. They have a lovely app. If you download the Media app, Global, you can see and hear all kinds of podcasts from all of their radio stations. They have dozens of the things. It’s really exciting if you like British accents and Global also own Capital Radio, Heart, Radio, Classic FM. Oh, there’s tons of them… tons. Yeah, I think in 2014 they changed from being London only into a national broadcaster yeah, so they they were known as the London Broadcasting Company, then they became London’s Biggest Conversation. Then they became Leading Britain’s Conversation but we were all listening to them online anyway. I mean, it was known that it was one of the best. People like me who enjoy English media, I used to listen to them all the time and many people do.

So it became the UK’s first National talk radio station. But again, I would dispute that because there was one before. Which didn’t last long. I think it was….. It eventually became a sport radio station, but it used to have a 24 hour call-in and I can’t remember the name. Of it but I don’t think LBC was Britain’s fast National Call-in station. I could be wrong.. If you don’t know it…. It has names like Nick Ferrari, James O’Brien very very well known people. And yes, they’re always interviewing prime ministers and these these kind of people. And so yeah, it’s a vital part of the UK’s media ecosystem that has space for robust debate, critical journalism. Participation. Yeah. So if you’re looking for a radio station today to be listening to, I do recommend LBC.

These days there’s probably lots of commentary about war celebrations. I was listening to it this morning and they’re saying, there are street parties and celebrations to remember the end of the war. Not where I am, there isn’t. I don’t know where these parties are, but they’re certainly not in my neighbourhood. There’s none here. So I would say if you are listening, their focus probably is on the London area. If they’re thinking of war celebrations, because our Royals, of course, and governments are pushing this because we were, after all, the winners. Had we lost the war, I don’t think they’d be celebrating quite so much. Anyway. Most of us really don’t care. It’s another day we’ll be working… there’s a 2 minute silence at 11 AM, (tomorrow) which probably will be ignored by most of us. I don’t know. It’s a a strange thing. We need to remember the lessons of democracy, but yeah.

Anyway, that’s it.

See you. Bye.

 

 

1061 Feargal Sharkey – A Good Heart, Song Lyrics Transcript

Link to song

Hi, Everyone.

Welcome again to another podcast from Teacher Joseph…. and today we’re going to go through some song lyrics from Feargal Sharkey and his song “A Good Heart”.

Now in case you’re wondering the name Feargal… It’s an Irish name fairly common around the UK. Originally it comes from Gaelic “fhear”, meaning man and “gal”, meaning brave. Feargal Sharkey……(Feargal) quite a common name for a boy in both parts of Ireland, North and South….. Feargal, he came from the Northern part of Ireland. And his song that we’re going to hear about today is called A Good Heart. So let’s begin then…. This is Feargal Sharkey’s song called “A good heart”.

So Feargal tells us:

I hear a lot of stories, I suppose they could be true… all about love and what it can do for you.

High is the risk of striking out. The risk of getting hurt and still I have so much to learn….

….and in case you’re wondering what “to strike out” means there. That’s a term from American baseball, which I believe means to start over, to restart, to begin again.

Feargal tells us:

Well, I know. ’cause I think about it all the time, I know that real love is hard to find.

And then Feargal takes us on to the next verse, he says:

And a good heart these days is hard to find. true love, the lasting kind.

A good heart these days is hard to find. So please be gentle with this heart of mine.

That’s actually the chorus for the song. Feargal repeats that a lot. He was quite popular here in the 1980’s. The song was from the mid 80s. Let’s see what else Feargal tells us.

He says:

My expectations may be high. I blame it on my youth, soon enough I’ll learn the painful truth.

I’ll face it like a fighter, then boast how I’ve grown.

Anything is better than being alone.

Oh, dear. Yeah. Feargal is struggling a little bit there in his teenage years. And then he tells us again:

Well, I know ’cause I learn a little every day.

I know ’cause I listen when the experts say that a good heart these days is hard to find true love, the lasting kind,

A good heart these days is hard to find. So please be gentle. With this heart of mine,

So these lyrics are all quite straightforward so far, and striking out was the only phrase so far. I think that we didn’t know. Right, let’s go on.

Fergal tells us:

As I reflect on all my childhood dreams, my ideas of love weren’t as foolish as they seemed.

If I don’t start looking now, I’ll be left behind and a good heart these days, it’s hard to find.

And then Feargal tells us:

I know it’s a dream I’m willing to defend. I know it will be worth it in the end.

And then he tells us again:

A good heart these days, it’s hard to find… true love the lasting kind.

Yeah, I think this song really does reflect the searching in the 80s. It was a very confusing time, a lot of kids just grew up empty and we were kind of promised by Hollywood that meeting somebody would make our lives complete, which of course, as we all know, especially if you’re in your 50s, that… that just isn’t the case.

So this song was kind of highlighting the fact that we were empty and we were looking for our completion in our other half and even today some people talk about their wives or their girlfriends: “Oh, yeah, my other half doesn’t like that”. “My other half said that…”, you know, it’s quite common. In fact, I was listening to two of my neighbours arguing the other day. And one apparently said to the other something about. “Yeah, well, my bird…my bird. You don’t say that to my woman. Don’t talk to my woman like that”. I thought we were past those days of possession. Clearly not. But anyway, anyway. That’s the song for today. It’s called a good heart by Feargal Sharkey from 1985. And do have a look at the the video clip. I’ll try and post the link along with the lyrics, it’s very good. It’s very good. I mean it brings back good memories of a time… I mean, I never enjoyed my teenage years. Oh, no. Now, hopefully yours were better than mine. For me, it was a time of, uh, real confusion about most things. Yeah. So uh, yes.

A good heart by Feargal Sharkey. There we are. Right. That’s it. For me, I hope you have enjoyed this… very straightforward lyrics. Nothing difficult there, but a lovely song for today. And we often talk about striking out, which was the phrasal verb which was borrowed from soccer, right. The gas man is coming today to service my boiler. That’ll be a bundle of laughs, I’m sure. So I better go and empty the cupboard. For some reason in the UK, we always keep the boiler in a bedroom cupboard. Across Europe, it’s usually in the kitchen, isn’t it? Next to the sink? So I have no idea why we have it in a cupboard, but it means I’ll need to empty the cupboard to let the guy in to fix it. Well, I’m assuming it’s a guy these days. It can be anybody.

And that’s it from me.

Take care. Bye.