Weekly Lesson: The Leak from the Bathroom Ceiling

For study until 25 August 2024

Subject: The Leak from the Bathroom Ceiling

Audio: On usual social media platforms.

It was 8am on the 15^th of August 2024 and I was nursing a glass of orange juice, wondering why I gave up coffee when suddenly I heard rain, but it was closer than usual and the drops seemed to be louder compared to the usual light tapping on my window.  I arrived at the bathroom door seconds later to find water leaking down from the light socket on to the floor. My cat was watching the drops, his head movements were synchronized with each drop  and he seemed to enjoy the “plopping” sound on the puddle on the floor.  It was one of those moments where you just wanted to shout “Dad!” then leave the problem to Him although even if my Father was still alive, it most likely would have been my Mother who would have immediately contained the water and then marched to the apartment above to start a conversation with the neighbour whom no doubt she would have known already. People actually spoke to each other in those days and they were equipped with social skills to get things done without being offensive. 

Another “plop” brought me back to reality, my cat’s tail rose up, he was bored and with a quick “meow” sound he went off to sleep somewhere else which left only me. I mopped up the water and moved the mop and pail to under the drip.

“That will buy me time until I decide what to do next”  I thought to myself, remembering that if this had been 1980, my Mother would likely have had this fixed by now. A twinge of sadness dawned on my thoughts, and then I just acknowledged that this problem was not going to be fixed by direct action or shouting at someone – my way is always something which creates a sense of peace.  Still, the marked contrast between my parents generation, my generation and younger people today played on my mind for the rest of the day.  I thought of my parents and those words by the poet Tennyson which we always use to remember the deceased:

“O for the touch of a vanished hand,
   And the sound of a voice that is still”

Being British, I needed a plan. To run up to my neighbour’s apartment and start shouting for them to turn off their taps or even making a melodrama out of this was so NOT the thing to do in 2024 Britain. I didn’t need to remind myself that to keep calm and carry on was the order of the day.

The problem with neighbours these days is that we don’t mix. We all come from different social, cultural, economic and educational backgrounds and have little in common even for general conversation. This does not compare well to the past where we all worked in the same factory and had the same social and educational background. Getting along was much easier in the past, we had tribal and work connections. Towns were created on that premise. My view is that these days peace is something we all recognise and despite our diversities, it is something we all want, at least somewhere in our hearts.

The first port of call was to phone my Landlord’s office and let them know what was happening – they in turn would need to contact my neighbour to gain entry to her apartment. I took another sip of orange juice ensuring I was calm before I reached for my phone.

“Interesting” I thought, 

“I actually get to use this thing to speak to someone” realising that its usual use was simply texting.

I dialled the number went through the touch tone dialling system (pressed option 1 for repairs) and finally reached a human.

“Hi, How are you today” I asked, after her spiel of introduction. We nervously assured each other that we were both calm by engaging in small talk, exchanging comments about how bad the weather was:

“Fine, but the weather is awful”

“Oh absolutely”  I replied, slowly bringing the conversation round to my plumbing issue.

“We are in the wrong country for good weather” she cackled.

“It seems I have a plumbing issue” – hoping that the sudden bold jump to another topic was not too rude.

“it seems there is water running into my apartment from above” – ensuring I was an epitome of placidity,  meanwhile she must have heard what sounded like an Olympic swimming team jumping into a pool one by one in the background.

The conversation continued like something from a 19^th century novel:

“Oh how awful”  she remarked…. and my response at her course of action of booking an emergency plumber and electrician followed:

“Oh how lovely, that sounds helpful, thankyou”

Small talk is important even in emergencies if you want to get things done here.  She calmly arranged for the plumber to call as well as an electrician and dialled my neighbour to talk to her as well.

“It may be a good idea not to use your bathroom light” – she was being as indirect with her communication as I was – I just knew we were going to be friends by the end of this conversation.  We all know that phrases like “It may be a good idea not to….” in reality means  “stay to hell away from the thing”.

For me the most important thing was staying calm. After all, this was not the telephonist’s problem. It helped that the drops were a bit slower now. That suggested this was not a burst pipe but simply tap water which was coming through when water was flowing. I wasn’t so concerned about the water as I was about ensuring I didn’t panic.

 My mind flashed to my time in Arabia where they didn’t have much water in the region I was living in and a spark of gratitude came that I live here in the west with all of its basic comforts. Then another twinge of sadness as I remembered the eccentricity of British living, the shallow way in which we Brits communicate and how we put calmness and order before other vital things like flooding and death, I remember my teacher training textbooks where I am supposed to teach people phrases like:

“There seems to have been an accident – would you mind calling the Police, if it’s no trouble of course?”. These days that style of language suggests incongruence between our hearts and our heads. Is someone finally realising that British politeness can actually be a hinderance in serious situations or are we just saying panic doesn’t get us anywhere?

The plumber arrived and like an ambassador between Nations he carried messages between my neighbour and I by telling us separately what the problem was and how he was going to fix it as well as what we both needed to do while he was working. Clearly he had done this before and he really was promoting peace here. Perhaps in his next career move he might consider either a job in politics or perhaps in athletics judging by the way he bounded up and down those stairs. I wanted to share that joke with him but he looked like he was too young to catch my meaning and it would likely have been lost if I had to explain it. He looked like the kind of person that takes your money at the cinema, they wish you a nice day, they check your ticket and ask if you want to buy popcorn then they say “enjoy the movie” but you just know that  they really don’t care whether you enjoy the movie or not. You are not their problem. You are just another bad tempered old person amidst a stream of young people tapping apps on their phones. Still he brought a great sense of peace to what could have been a very difficult time.

We Brits are changing, that’s for sure, many younger people are not ok with our genteel styles of communicating thanks to the Internet, globalisation as well as individuality instead of community.  It’s hard to see what this country will look like in another 40 years. It is true  that in emergencies, things could be resolved much quicker if we were able to be more honest and forthcoming with our feelings.

These days there are many good reasons why order and keeping calm is pivotal, cementing pillars of a good society.  It shaped us, our past and our nation but I find myself looking over my shoulder wondering where the country has been and and more importantly, where it’s going.