Tag: holidays

Weekly Lesson: Christmas Songs

For study until 1st of December 2024

Subject: Christmas Songs

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Christmas Songs

After the kerfuffle around Band Aid’s “Do They Know Its Christmas” song,  I wanted to add my tuppence worth to the debate about Christmas music.

Firstly let me say that Christmas pop songs have been around longer than I have, some songs are cheerful, some songs are annoying and then there’s Mariah Carey. Probably the ones I dread most are by her and Michael Buble and the one I actually don’t mind is by Leona Lewis, that one is called “One More Sleep”. Leona seems blissfully unaware that sleep is not countable but that’s ok. I like the song. I really detest Michael Buble – I honestly don’t know why.   If I am asked about my favourite genre for Christmas music I would likely reply the 1960s. I just love to hear the Ronettes singing Frosty the Snowman as well as a whole host of others using the infamous wall of sound which was invented by Phil Spector.  I have heard about Whamageddon – this is a game people play to try and avoid Wham’s Christmas song “Last Christmas”. Many people take it quite seriously.

About “Do they know its Christmas” I mean really, who cares whether the song is politically correct these days, it was written for a different generation and I’m sure many people “couldn’t give a monkeys” (plural is correct) whether it is banned or not.  I’m not sure if you ‘ve heard the debate but this infamous Bob Geldof effort contains the words:

“And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time

The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life

Where nothing ever grows, no rain nor rivers flow

Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?”

On the surface these lyrics look relatively innocent, who could have known back in the 1980s that they would create such a storm. Some sources are saying that the song was always controversial because of its negative views of Africa and others are saying that it’s simply got caught up in the whirlwind of political correctness.  I do agree that the lyrics are probably grossly exaggerated. I mean  things do grow in Africa and there are rivers and probably rain too.  But is it correct to call the song colonialist? Critics are saying that the song has a”white saviour” feel to it and as a product of its day is very condescending. Do we even care enough to think about it? The song raised millions for charity over the years.  So surely that kind of redeems it out of any misuse.

When I was a child, the UK was heavily industrialized. That meant that the local factory needed workers over Christmas so my father and grandfather were not always around on Christmas Day. Boxing Day, the 26th of December was not an official holiday anyway until 1974 so people were not accustomed to relaxing on that day. Money was good.. working over the holiday season so there was an opinion that working on these days was better.  Still there was a great holiday feeling, winding down early to get home to see the kids before bedtime.

I do like the variety that you can find around Christmas now, thanks to social media you can find exactly what floats your boat over Christmas, whether its  a group of kids singing badly, a torch song, a protest or even a tragedy. One feature of the old days was that TV channels used to air “Christmas Specials” to make us smile. Many singing groups in those days had their own TV shows and a Christmas special was something to look forward to each year.  Soap operas on TV also had their own Christmas special, to be shown on TV over the period. It was actually something to rush home for. I never considered that actors were giving up valuable time to make these shows, I just assumed they were there for my entertainment. Isn’t it sad when we grow up and realise the world isn’t just there for our entertainment but the harsh reality is that they need to make money. Even actors need work.

I am often puzzled by people at Christmas time, especially here.  I tried to call a  friend to meet for coffee to be told:

“As it’s Christmas, I will be far too busy to meet until January”. In her words she said “You know how it is, buying presents and all”.

I don’t believe for a second that with one month to go until Christmas, she doesn’t have a spare hour but I think this highlights the depth of loneliness people feel at this time of year. They either try to forget about this time of year by diving right into it head first to block out the pain or else they give that impression in order to mask a much deeper pain.  For others they simply will start with office parties and won’t stop drinking until it’s finished.  I think it is time we Brits were honest with ourselves. Despite the mass marketing, songs and Christmas trees we literally climb the walls with anxiety this time of year and do what we can to deal with it. It is a far cry from happiness. Many people don’t have any social structures in their lives, little cash and screaming children. Then there’s people like myself who are looking over their shoulder wondering “what happened”? We went from rooms full of people with guests dropping in daily to empty spaces where those people used to be. Now we are faced with silence and memories. It’s the sharp contrast that hurts, not the emptiness of the day itself. People have gone, the way we live has changed and as the poet said:

“O for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still”

 I would like to see more British people owning the pain and taking responsibility, we could build  a new society free from issues like this if we got our act together and acted responsibly at this time of year. Since I don’t drink I am able to see with great clarity what happens at this time of year, a lot of pain and sadness in the darkest months of the year.  And in the middle of it Mariah Carey. I think pride stops us from really owning how we feel.

I’ve already been looking for Doris Day and Dean Martin specials on Youtube, even though life was not perfect for my parents, they didn’t have that sense of an empty celebration that we have now, something is terribly wrong with the way things are presented to us these days and these old TV specials remind us of the sense of joy we can have if we look for it. These days though this type of entertainment is considered vintage, old fashioned and irrelevant.

I really admire those people who choose not to celebrate Christmas. At least they are owning how they feel about it. I think the rest of us have quite a bit to go until we can deal with this time of year in an honest way.

Whatever you are doing for Christmas this year, I hope you do it in a mentally healthy way.

Weekly Lesson: Thanksgiving

For study until 24th of November 2024

Subject: Thanksgiving

Audio: On usual social media platforms

Thanksgiving

British people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but there’s always an American around to invite us. When my American neighbours invited me to spend Thanksgiving with them, I was sure there must be some kind of catch. So I desperately tried to think of an excuse:

“Eh, sorry I will be working” I answered quickly.

 “Oh that’s fine, just pop in when you can” he responded.

 “Eh yes ok but what exactly do you do on that day”? I asked…

“We just try to welcome the neighbours to join us so we can eat together…” He went on to say how the whole family get together and sit round the table saying what they are thankful for. 

“Oh, how not British” I murmured, remembering how Americans love positive thinking. The scene kind of resembled an episode of the Simpsons where Homer meets the neighbour Ned Flanders. The thought of sitting around a table and talking about what I’m grateful for sounds more like a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, rather than a good time.

It was one of those moments where I realised just how different British and American culture is. This couple have 13 kids and he is only forty-five years old. The oldest one is “coming home” for Thanksgiving and will be helping to cook. Again how “not British” I thought to myself.  That means at least one child a year – Don’t they have Netflix? Then I remembered, they shun TV completely. So one child being born every year isn’t so strange after all.

“What else will you do”? I asked…. “Surely you will spend a lot of time on skype with your relatives back home?” trying to carve out a plan and reason why it would not be perceived rude if I didn’t attend, in line with my British politeness.

“Oh they will be at Church all day” he replied “so we will catch up with them in the night, we have 6 hours difference anyway.”

“Darn –  is no excuse good enough“? I thought.

“I will start cooking at 12pm, you can come along and help me if you want, my daughter will have most of it done, I will do the meat”. He chuckled.

I have watched enough American movies to know that when American men cook, it is all about showing masculinity, maleness and some kind of egotistical trip about being male. British men usually do that by either having a barbecue with alcohol or going to the pub and getting drunk. For us Brits the camaraderie in drinking is more important than the food. I scratched my head for a moment remembering that this guy is actually tee-total. I don’t drink either so we are more alike than not. I found myself wondering why I found him so annoying then.

“I’ll need to spend a lot of time out hunting next week, to walk off the weight after this celebration”  he snorted.

“Ah Yes” I thought to myself, I remembered why he leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s that  habit Americans have of being outdoors and doing things, like driving  golf carts, shooting animals and fishing. I didn’t even know we had hunting clubs here but of course I could see his collection of guns behind him which were lined up like trophies.

“Aren’t you afraid the kids might find these?” I asked.

“It’s better they get used to them early” he said – “besides the ammunition is kept far away”.

“Anyway, the wife and kids would love to see you on Thanksgiving” he continued.

When people talk about “loving to see me”, I always get a bit suspicious. It’s a sure sign that the opposite is true however with Americans you never know… I think he might actually mean it. They don’t share our British dark cynicism. They honestly think the world is a nice place.

 MaryBeth, the wife appeared,  “13 kids,  its no surprise she looks tired”. I thought to myself.

“Why don’t you join us for Breakfast on Thanksgiving” she uttered. MaryBeth is a common North American name, a shortened version of Mary Elizabeth.

I could see there really was no escape, but breakfast might be a way out of this because they will be up and ready for Church on this auspicious day. So I gave in, breakfast with the neighbours then I’ll spend the rest of the day recovering. The youngest has been practicing playing the American National Anthem – I only know that because it woke me up a few days ago, but of course I would never mention that to them.

“Samuel has been practicing playing the American National Anthem on the Piano” the mother said proudly.  I bit my lip and resisted saying something sarcastic about his practice time.

“You son of a gun” said the father as he ruffled the boy’s hair with his hand.

“We never see Jonathan  these days – he is training to become a minister” they went on  to say proudly. He is the eldest son apparently. No one ever speaks about the middle one, Thomas, I was going to ask about him but it just didn’t feel right.  

I felt kind of sad, we speak the same language, live in the same street but couldn’t be more different.

“Oh, how is……. your…. Cat… dog – pet, toffee?” – MaryBeth asked. Clearly they weren’t in touch with the important things in my life. They smiled…. in a kind of a truculent way which emitted pity.

“My cat…… Ptofi…. He is fine” I answered before making an excuse to leave.

“Oh I made jam today for you and the family” she said, breaking the awkwardness of the moment, handing me a jar of jam. It really felt like an episode of a homespun American drama although no one was getting shot in this rerun.

“Sorry I forgot your wife’s name” she continued.

“Don’t worry, I’ve forgotten all 13 names of your kids as well… by the way, how is Thomas?” I retaliated.  

“eh, well, we don’t really……” they both said at the same time “anyway, enjoy the jam”

“Oh thanks” I replied while backing towards the door. Glancing over my shoulder at the rifles and child in the room as I made a hasty retreat.

“See you on Thanksgiving” – came the voices behind me, it was starting to feel more like Amityville, an American horror movie  than a drama.

I thought to myself “I really wish that UK people had something like Thanksgiving where we could all sit around the table happily” but then I remembered, we do, it’s called Christmas and although we all sit around the table, it’s rarely happy.

My mind went to Thomas, somehow I knew that he will be the elephant in the room this year, if he is actually invited.

Weekly Lesson: Halloween

For study until 3rd of November 2024

Subject: Halloween

Audio: On usual social media platforms.

It is Halloween and as usual my town has a parade which takes place on the closest weekend. Usually artists create a monster which looks like its hanging over the town hall, but as everything has gone digital, there isn’t actually anything to see unless you attend the event where monsters are beamed on to the walls of the town hall after it gets dark. It is kind of sad that there aren’t any installed monuments to visit anymore during the day. As movie makers say “It’s all in the can”.

I went to the town centre and was upset that there was really nothing to see. Preparations were well underway, complete with loudspeakers. They were loud enough to wake the dead if you excuse the pun. I don’t mind a bit of Kelly Clarkson but I take exception to Celine Dion. My opinion of her is so bad that I remove myself from conversations about her by saying:

“Oh, Celine Dion? My cat really, really doesn’t like her” – it seems the only way I can avoid being rude about her voice. The third person is really useful sometimes.

By preparations, I mean the roads were sealed off and large projectors were placed around the centre. The parade at night is nice to see but has too many people to make it in any way enjoyable.

When I was a kid, Halloween was one night in the year when we dressed up, carved turnips and painted pictures of witches. It didn’t extend to weeks of celebrations with horror movies about psychotic killers, there wasn’t a Halloween brand and any sense of fun associated with it was Disney style and harmless like the movie Hocus Pocus. There were always objections to it though particularly from Churches which still had a lot of influence in the 70s and 80s but most of us saw it as harmless fun. It didn’t extend beyond putting a sheet over your head and shouting “booo”. I think its popularity was because it was a shared experience and time honoured. My father carving the turnip, my mother making cookies and my grandparents buying sweets. These days the kids just go to the supermarket and stuff their faces full of whatever they can buy.

In more recent years as Religion seems to have dwindled, Halloween has become not only a brand but a much bigger celebration than Christmas. Houses with decorated windows, lights, pumpkins, scarecrows without heads and covered in blood which make them look putrid.

A group of kids turned up at my place last night looking for sweets and shouting “trick or treat”. The phrase “trick or treat” is a new phenomenon which we borrowed from America but it does represent what kids do on that night. They visit neighbours and ask for sweets. We don’t actually respond by choosing an option like “trick” we just give them sweets and then they leave.  In my case I use my video doorbell, see the costumes and just ignore them. Maybe I am a hard hearted Skype English Teacher but I prefer to be on Skype talking to people about how frightening learning English can be rather than talking to kids about how frightening they look.

A lot of people don’t like Halloween because of its darker connotations. I do know that 31st October has always been associated with the dead and it is a night when the dead and the living supposedly can meet each other. It is kind of like the Day of the Dead in Mexico but we don’t leave gifts on graves for the dead, in fact we don’t even think of them. British people are not sentimental in that way, at least not on Halloween and we are far too mean to leave alcohol for dead people on their graves.

 The original idea back in the 17th century is that if we dress up as ghosts, no one will know who is alive and who is dead,  offering some kind of protection on the night. Here in the UK we also have a number of people who are pagan or wiccan. Halloween for them is a religious observance akin to Christmas  and they are also becoming fashionable.  Halloween has long been associated with magic and as a child I do remember seeing things like dead chickens on graves and more recently farmers keeping their horses locked up on the night for fear that someone will cut off their tails, there has been a few police reports about that and on local media.  So it is clear that in the countryside there are people around practicing some kind of magic on that night but nobody knows who they are or why.

I did feel a little bit disturbed when I was in the supermarket and the assistant was dressed as an old hag. As her face was hidden, I couldn’t see who she was or her facial expressions and that made me a bit uncomfortable. But it’s no worse I suppose than dressing up as Santa Claus or people wearing covid masks.

My feelings towards Halloween are rather ambivalent, I don’t like the costumes but I suppose there’s no real harm.  

I had a discussion with my neighbour about this:

“Are you all set for Halloween?” He muttered wryly.

“What do you mean all set?” I asked, trying to disarm his vain attempt at humour,

“I mean do you have the sweets ready?” was his next attempt at small talk.

“Um, no…… I don’t.. I don’t really…..” but by that point he had walked off, reminding me again that this was only small talk and I shouldn’t be thinking about answering well.

Strangely he had the same conversation with me at Christmas time, its just their way of making conversation about nothing but when they don’t get the answers they want the conversation simply dies. It does make me wonder though what makes other people excited and how they lead their lives. I had a pang of sadness that  I might be  missing out on something, spending most of my days online. I mean there could be elephants dressed as witches living next door all the year round and I likely wouldn’t notice.

The clocks change by one hour around the same time as Halloween, I use the American proverb to remind me which way they change:

Spring Forward ( In Spring they go forward).

Fall Back (In Autumn they go back, Autum is the British word for Fall).

Once a big deal, now that’s automated as well. I wonder if people in the future will even realise these things take place?