Happy Eid! A celebration full of Food.

Today I was officially adopted by a family I’ve never met.
Digitally, through Microsoft Teams and with more naan bread than I could ever emotionally process.

You see, as a humble online English teacher, I thought I’d seen it all. I’ve taught grammar to teenagers in Tokyo at 3 a.m., discussed Shakespeare with a man in Karachi who swore Hamlet was someone with a drug problem and once accidentally taught an entire lesson with a slice of toast stuck to my sweater.

But nothing — nothing — prepared me for being invited to Eid.

Now, for the record, Eid (or Eid al-Adha, the “Festival of Sacrifice”) is a sacred Muslim holiday commemorating the willingness of Ibrahim (that’s Abraham, to my Catholic aunt) to sacrifice his son for God. In modern times, it’s celebrated with prayers, charity, family gatherings, and… feasting (not fasting).

So there I was, halfway through a lesson on past perfect verbs with my student, Arham, when his grandmother strolled behind him and waved at me with the confidence of someone who definitely doesn’t know what a webcam is.

Five minutes later, I was awkwardly introduced to 17 cousins, a suspiciously muscular uncle called “Boss Man,” and a child with a samosa in each fist, declaring in Urdu that he loved me.

They all insisted I stay on the call.
For the entire meal.

It was the most chaotic, joyful, fragrant hour I’ve spent in months and the food really was delicious digitally.

Dishes flew past the camera like it was a culinary action film. I learned more food vocabulary than in any textbook:

• Biryani – Rice so aromatic I nearly wept.
• Sheer Khurma – A dessert made of milk, and dates, which sounds delicate but packs enough sugar to kill me off completely.
• Kebabs – So juicy I considered licking the screen (don’t worry, I didn’t — not this time).
• And naan bread — which seems to be the cultural equivalent of love, comfort, and heavy carbs in one folded package.

They even made a little “digital plate” for me by tilting the camera toward a serving tray. I think I gained 3lbs just looking at it.

At one point, I said “Eid Mubarak” (Happy Eid), and someone cheered. Then someone’s aunt asked if I was single. Twice.

I laughed so much my stomach hurt. I spoke English. They spoke Urdu. We all understood each other perfectly when dessert arrived. It looked delicious…..

And when I finally signed off, they insisted I join again next year.
By then, I plan to have a better outfit.

This is why I love my job.

P.S. I still have no idea what homework the guy submitted today, but I gave him an A+ – I mean the food really was delicious.

Eid Mubarak, one and all.
May your plates be full, your internet stable, and your aunties kind

Teacher Joseph