1073 In the Supermarket – Transcript

Hi, everyone.

Welcome again to another teacher Joseph podcast.

Well, I’ve just entered the supermarket and there the first thing that greets me is the news stand…. very depressing news, isn’t it? And no one seems happy that Britain is making deals with Europe.

This paper says “Now prepare for years of pain”. A bit harsh, I think, for being able to get through passport control gates without hassles. Ohh dear “Burglars steal goods”. That’s very depressing.

Let me move on. Well, there’s a few things.I need to buy. One of them is milk. That’s the one I actually remember and it’s right at the very top of the supermarket. So I need to trek all the way up but that’s OK, because I’m going to pass some delicious things on the way.

Oh tomatoes. Do you know I made some lovely tomato soup the other day. It really was delicious. It was a Persian recipe I found online. Noodles. Well, I’m not supposed to have these instant snacks, but well, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. Let’s see. What flavours do they have here? Or delicious…. chicken flavour? Well, yeah, yeah, it could be tempting. What else? Ohh yeah. Chicken. Well, though I’m vegetarian, this is a chicken flavour. I don’t know if it’s actually vegetarian, but but I’ll get them anyway. They won’t kill me.

What else do we have here? Oh delicious. What’s this? Beef flavour. Curry flavour…. these things are amazing. I mean you just add hot water and then you have something to eat, isn’t that just wonderful. Apologies if you’re Italian or Spanish…. right. Let me see what else here. As I continue to walk up. So basically I have mayonnaise on one side and the whole row….. a whole stack of mayonnaise. I didn’t know there were so many different types and on the other side, canned fish.

Our supermarkets, as you know, don’t sell fresh meat. Well, they do sell some fresh meat, but it’s cut already. You don’t get the choice, and fish is…usually frozen… the fish so…. Oh, what’s this? Ohh, olive oil. Beautiful. I do need to buy olive oil, but the price of it these days is extortionate. I mean, they want £5 for 750 millilitres. Cor….! You could tell it’s imported if they’re using the metric system. I have no idea what 750 millilitres is, but that’s what it says on the bottle £5. Oh No. Here’s another one at £4.99 Extra Virgin Classic. How many millilitre….. Prima Donna? What’s this? Umm. Yes, it’s 500 millilitres. I’m really rubbish with the metric system. I really should try to work out what that actually is.

Oh eggs. Yeah, well, I do need eggs, but not this weekend because I have enough. I think…. just to………. right…there we are.

My goodness me. Lots of really overweight people in here today again… this really is like fat person’s convention honestly, right….. So I’m at the top now. I’m heading for the milk. I can see it in the cabinet. Delicious bon gelati ice cream. Oh, well, that’s that’s definitely a keeper. Maybe I could have that for later. Well, I promised myself I wouldn’t. I mean, I am supposed to not be doing these things, you know?

Right there we are. Beautiful. Beautiful. So the milk is taking me nicely into the frozen food aisle. Where there’s every kind of pizza you can possibly imagine, except my favourite, which is the one with the prawns… I have to handmake that one.

Delicious. What’s this four beef quarter pounders. Well, I don’t really like beef. … delicious. Ben and Jerrys ice cream…oh salted caramel. Oh, that sounds lovely, doesn’t it? What’s this? Madagascan vanilla. Oh. Ohh, cheesecake delicious strawberry gateau. Strawberry Swirl cheesecake….. oh that’s because it has that swirl design on the top, isn’t it? Anyway, right. I’ve got the milk. Let me quickly get out…..oh chicken tikka masala. That seems really strange sitting that next to cheesecake anyway, you know, we don’t really respect food here, so I don’t suppose we care.

Ohh yeah, Coca-Cola, of course without sugar. That’s what I want to get. Just a little….. little box because I can’t carry so much because I have a bit of a sore back today and yeah, and I was warned, I have to get the cans. Some people prefer the cans. Tomato puree. Why would that be sitting next to the Coca-Cola? It’s a bit strange, isn’t it? How they organise things here when you live in a culture that doesn’t think about food that you can find anything.

Right. Yeah. The other thing I need is kitchen roll. You know, that’s those paper cloths. They come in a big roll for the kitchen. I’ve been ordered to get those as well, so I’m just there. Uh. OK. Well, it’s in a sensible place. So this is next to the washing powder. Let me see. Kitchen towels? Yeah. Here we are. Lovely. Very nice, very nice. So that’s those.

Let me see what else I’m supposed to. Get. Oh yeah, Quiche. Delicious. I love quiche. Where would I find that? Oh probably the frozen section again, isn’t it? I do like it a bit of quiche, but not Quiche Lorraine…. That’s the one with the ham. I much prefer the one with the egg and cheese.

Yeah. Let me go around and see where it is and what shouldn’t be next to it. Let’s see. Cor! She’s in a bit of a hurry, isn’t she? Right. Let’s see. Oh, delicious. Sweet and sour chicken. Oh, oh, I love that. I’m supposed to be vegetarian. Well, I am kind of. Let’s see. Halloumi fries. Nuggets. Chicken steaks. Everything is pre packed. Where’s my quiche? And then it’s pizza. I wonder if the quiche is on the other side. There was a little frozen bit as I came in.

Well, if I can’t find quiche I’ll just buy fish, I mean frozen battered fish. I’d just love to have the opportunity to actually buy something fresh. You know….. something that I could ask the woman to give me to cut for me. But yeah, we don’t…we don’t tend to have very much of that here… let me see. Oh yeah, there’s omelette. So I guess it’s here somewhere. Just have a little look. Yeah, there it is. Cheese and Onion quiche £2 each. It just seems like such a lot of money. It doesn’t. It really? I mean. But I have to get it cause I’m not going to have time to cook tonight.I think.

Yeah, but at the same time, I’d much prefer something more enjoyable. Maybe. So maybe that’s not for me. Umm. Yeah, that’s…. do you know … I’m really …..have you ever been to a supermarket… You know…. and your…. not em….. trying to buy anything? That’s kind of …me today……

Well, I got one quiche in the end because I remember there were (was) pasta in the house and I can do that lovely, delicious spaghetti thing that I’ve been doing.

Oh sausages…. delicious. Silician sausages. Silician… is there a place called Silicia? I don’t know about or is it just the type of sausage it says Silician sausages? Kielbasa Slaska made in Poland. I wonder if Silicia is a place or a Polish thing.

Oh well. Delicious. Right…. Let me look my list and see what else I need to get.

Oh yeah, cookies… of course. How could I forget those… cookies? Let me just have a little look and see. Yeah, you know, everything looks delicious, but it’s all pre packed. Nothing is there for me to lift. Everything is in plastic containers. I can barely see the things. And it’s very sad, really. I would really much prefer to be, you know, in the Mediterranean. Wandering around like a little old lady with rosary beads, let me see.

Cor! They’re not shopping for one. They must be shopping for a whole family. There’s dozens of food going in that basket, right…. oh cookies, wasn’t it…. Yeah. OK, I can see where they should be. Don’t worry. It’s not chocolate. It’s these cookies are like corn cakes. I mean, they are probably still bad for me, but yeah, let me see.

Oh delicious… crisps. Why would they have chopped tomatoes next to the crisps? I mean, I know that I don’t particularly love food, but even I know the things that go together and the things that don’t, right, I mean, they cook it…. Oh Peppermint chocolate. Oh, delicious. Sushi mayonnaise. I didn’t know there was such a thing. Coca-Cola. £3.49 oh, that’s nice. Maybe I’ll come back for another Coca-Cola. That one seems to be cheaper and there’s….. delicious Ferrero Roche, coconut and Almond Rafaello. I thought Rafael was the name of an Italian boy. No. Is that Rafael? No, that’s Spanish, I think. Well, somebody will tell me. I’m sure. Right. That’s it…. delicious.

What’s this?

Cora biedes bites. I wonder which country that’s from. Let me have a look and see. Greek style Cora biedes bites, almond, lemon and masticha Chao PDO flavoured. No idea. Could be Cyprus I suppose or Greece. Delicious breadsticks with sunflower seeds. Again, why they’re next to the chocolate, I don’t know. But well, I guess I better go. No cookies for me today.

So see you all again soon and have a lovely day.

Bye